Outing Others
As we celebrate National Coming Out Day I am forced to think of an acquaintance who was “outed” to his family by well-meaning friends. I won’t go into the details but it was a major disaster. While I believe everyone should live out and free, I also believe the process is personal and individual.
It is my humble opinion that outing someone is the equivalent of a major felony crime (think murder). You do not know anyone’s situation in life—emotionally or financially—well enough to “out” them. It is not my job to determine when someone feels safe enough to come out of his or her closet. And it is not yours either. In a recent Watermark article entertainment journalist Steve Kmetko tells of his being outed just before getting a promotion to anchor in a newsroom. After being outed he was told to find a job in another area if he wanted to move up in the news business. In the end things worked out well for him, but he speaks of the pain and upheaval associated with being outed before he was ready to come out himself.
I am often asked about politicians—especially right-wing, DOMA supporting, Republicans—who are in the closet. I believe they also deserve privacy for their personal lives. Many will disagree with me since they are perhaps promoting positions that oppose my freedoms as a gay male and support legislation that offends me. Still, it is not my place to use their personal lives to get what I may want (even though I think they use my personal life for their gain). I find politicians to be like all other people—deserving of the right to make their own decisions. It has taken me a lot of years to get to this point, but I know that for me it is the right decision. It is my goal to “out” these fine closet cases in a different way—vote them out of office.
As I celebrate National Coming Out Day I will simply hope that more and more of those in the closet—no matter what their occupation—will decide to come out and be who they were created to be. But I will not participate in pushing someone out of their closet—no matter what I think of them and their decisions. And I am grateful for those who wanted to help push me out and chose not to do so. I am also grateful now to live fully out.
Enjoy the Come Out with Pride Parade in Orlando this coming Sunday and celebrate with 50,000 GLBTs and allies. A wonderful way to celebrate National Coming Out Day.
